The Middle of the Pack

I'm just sure it was my friend Sammy Ford 's fault (he was the one that told me to "watch the right foot" when I started my trek back to Mississippi from Texas. Going across Texas, the speed limit is 75.....and that means I can drive 80 (five miles above the limit). No, that means I SHOULD drive 80. Anyway, I DO set Cruise Control (for what it's worth.....I then proceed to pay no attention to it....my right foot has a mind of its own and before I know it I'm going.....well, no sense in making everyone worry about me and my heavy foot!) I have a friend who says he's "keeping up with the traffic" and that's EXACTLY what I was doing. Texas was okay....but I crossed the state line into Louisiana, and suddenly there's LHP cars everywhere. Those white cars with Louisiana Highway Patrol written on their door had cars stopped on both sides of the Interstate all the way across that state. (I figured they needed money and this was how they were getting it.) Figured that out when I stopped for one of those "necessary breaks," and in the Rest Areas half the bathrooms were closed. I am in the "middle of the pack" .....and I am just doing my part in "keeping up with traffic." Who wants to cause a wreck because they're trying to abide by the speed limit??? Topped the hill, and there he sat .....in the median. Bless his heart, when it was safe for him to give chase....he DID. (At this point, I was watching him in my rear view mirror.....and thinking....."surely he won't pick my white car out of the middle of all this traffic. Will he?") He is 3 cars behind me....blue lights flashing....and traffic is still flying....about 15 miles above the speed limit. (Where's that 5 miles I should have been going? And, if I am the one that gets stopped this ticket is going to be pretty pricey!) By now, I am beginning to formulate excuses in my head for why I'm driving so fast. (1) I didn't think he'd care, not one bit, that I was rushing home to Mississippi because we had tickets to "Evita." However, I might start singing "Don't Cry for me Argentina" and he'd certainly send me on my way (no, you DON'T want to hear me sing!) (2) Then I decided I could use the look toward the sky and say "Thank you, God".....and hopefully, he'll say...."What? Why?" and I'd say "they were scaring me to death....I was having to drive that fast....right in the middle of them. I HATE driving like that....it doesn't feel safe." And he'd say...."well, you be careful ma'am and slow down!" And away I'd go. (3) However, what I really wanted to say was....."I am SO glad you stopped me".....and he'd look amazed and say....."Excuse me....what?".....and I would say...."Louisiana is the only southern state for which I didn't have a ticket....and I collect them!" I decided my sense of humor might send me to jail....so I'd have to shelve that one. Whew!! Suddenly, I realized he had chosen his prey....and it wasn't me. The moral to this story probably should be.....slow down, abide the speed limit, use cruise control, don't let your foot slide over onto the accelerator.......yada, yada, yada. However, I am still going with "if you're gonna' drive fast....get in the middle of the pack, for goodness sake!!" (Yes, I have BEEN at the back of the line in my history of being "Sarah Andretti.")